did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
