that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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