No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
