So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
