This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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