But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
