I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
