Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
