We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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