took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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