I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
