in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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