At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
