my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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