She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
