did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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