My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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