So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize