okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
