My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
