It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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