I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
