i already hear my dad disowning me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
