3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
