her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
