Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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