I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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