We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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