Sry I called you an 8
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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