Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
