Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
