I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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