What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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