so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
