I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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