i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
