I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
