Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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