Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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