I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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