it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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