Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
