I can tuck mytits in my pants
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
