Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
