that's an acceptable place to lick
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
