Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Too much gin, very little bucket
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize