yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
