Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
