I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
