You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she told me i tasted like america
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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