I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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