the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
