theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
