Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
