Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
