he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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