Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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