But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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