ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
