Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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