When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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