hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize