He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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