I love black thongs
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
