just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
