to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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