oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
