after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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