ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
