Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize